How RUDE!

In my fifteen-plus years of living off Cape Breton, I’ve wondered many times whether I’ve grown hardened with age. I seem to have a shorter fuse when it comes to what I perceive as other’s inconsiderate behaviour. Someone sitting next to me on the subway is loudly testing all of his cell phone ring tones. So rude! The cashier at the supermarket doesn’t say “hello” or “thank you.” These are basic customer service skills, people! I get bumped and elbowed daily. Sometimes I walk through my front door feeling like I just weaved my way through a booby-trapped field. I used to take many of these random incidents in stride but after a few years of repeated events I’ve started to get my back up. And when a Cape Breton woman gets her back up - watch out!

Oh, I know… people are rude everywhere. Someone from Cape Breton once emailed me to comment that road rage and nasty behaviour is increasingly becoming a problem at home. This may sound naïve but I was quite surprised to hear it. I always see a marked difference in strangers’ friendliness and consideration when I go home, but I guess I’m there for limited periods of time and prefer to spend most of it lounging around in the house making big decisions like, “Should I watch Oprah or Dr. Phil?”

However, urban environments have been shown to bring out the nasty in people. According to a recent article in the journal “Urban Studies,” tight spaces and transport “nodes” are hotbeds for incivility because lots of people are rushing to get somewhere and if an elbow will help the process, so be it (my words, not theirs.) Most of these discourtesies involve someone getting in someone else’s space and face. One surprising finding showed that most incivilities were committed by “respectable” individuals such as the middle-aged and elderly. I saw this finding play itself out in a most disgusting way on a recent business trip to Baltimore.

My colleagues and I (mostly women) were dining at a nice restaurant. Across from us was a large table of older folks, affluent-looking and obviously enjoying themselves. Somehow two of the “gentlemen” thought it would be fun to come over and flirt with the young ladies (right in front of their wives, I might add.) We were stunned by their banter; within five minutes of approaching our table they shocked us with “jokes” about pedophiles, abortions and other inappropriate topics. Finally they left, at which point one of our male companions headed over to tell the two men to stay away from our table or else. I felt so badly for their mortified wives. I had received nothing but lovely treatment from everyone I encountered in Baltimore, so I figured these jerks were an anomaly. It was then that one of the men yelled over to tell us he was from Toronto.

Go figure.