Yeah, okay... so I didn't accomplish my goals. What, me defensive?

Yep, my Big Plan to Lose Weight before The Trip to Panama failed. MISERABLY. I ended up putting so much pressure on myself that I got over-focused on my body and engaged in some unhealthy habits - namely some nasty diet drugs - which only made me feel down and out, which led to some emotional eating, which led to me feeling crappy... Soon I was on a nasty negative spiral and just gave up.

On the plus side, it was wonderful to get away. I really enjoyed Panama, the hot weather and spending time with my honey. But we spent the whole time saying things like, "Baby, can you get me another pina colada?" quickly followed by, "Can you get me some liposuction, stat?!" "I feel fat," was the week's constant refrain. Which is pretty sad isn't it? We're both "normal" weight, whatever that is, but we just felt badly about ourselves. This isn't good either.

To sum up... I want to lose weight and I want to feel healthy. I want to feed my body in a way that contributes to me looking AND feeling good. Yet, part of me thinks I should only be focused on feeling good because as soon as I start thinking about my body and how it looks, the "healthy" behavior goes out the window. How to reconcile this??